Dealing With Manipulative People - PSYCHOPATHS

Dealing With Manipulative People PSYCHOPATHS

UTF - book: In Sheep's Clothing, By George K. Simon

Manipulators are very difficult to spot because of their subtle, underhanded or deceptive ways.

They hide their true intentions and exploit the fear, anxiety, resentments, desires, secrets of their victims. You can recognize a manipulator if you know well their techniques:

"You ask a direct question, but you won't get a direct answer. They will try to take you anywhere else. They make you feel the bad guy, for confronting them on something, put you on the defensive."

They will come with rationalization of their behavior.  They want to get something out of you, but they don't won't you to see that.  For this, they will use many ways to buy you on their side or punish if you don't comply.

"Because of the indirect nature of manipulation, it’s not easy to defend yourself against it."

"Firing question after question without giving a chance to disclosure is intimidation - dirty manipulative technique."

"Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it."

Psychological Manipulation

"Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at the other's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive."

When someone is out to "win," dominate or control, but are subtle, underhanded or deceptive enough to hide his true intentions, his behavior is most appropriately labeled covertly aggressive. Manipulators avoid any overt display of aggression while simultaneously intimidating others into giving them what they want. This is a powerfully manipulative maneuver.

Periodically trying to manipulate a person or a situation doesn't make someone a covert-aggressive personality. Personality can be defined by the way a person habitually perceives, relates to and interacts with others and the world at large. The tactics of deceit, manipulation and control are a steady diet for covert-aggressive personality. It's the way they prefer to deal with others and to get the things they want in life.

The Process of Victimization

For a long time, I wondered why manipulation victims have a hard time seeing what really goes on in manipulative interactions. At first, I was tempted to fault them. But I've learned that they get hoodwinked for some very good reasons:

1. Manipulator's aggression is not obvious. Our gut may tell us that they're fighting for something, struggling to overcome us, gain power, or have their way, and we find ourselves unconsciously on the defensive. But because we can't point to clear, objective evidence they're aggressing against us, we can't readily validate our feelings.
2. The tactics manipulators use can make it seem like they're hurting, caring, defending, ..., almost anything but fighting. These tactics are hard to recognize as merely clever ploys. They always make just enough sense to make a person doubt their gut hunch that they're being taken advantage of or abused. Besides, the tactics not only make it hard for you to consciously and objectively tell that a manipulator is fighting, but they also simultaneously keep you or consciously on the defensive. These features make them highly effective psychological weapons to which anyone can be vulnerable. It's hard to think clearly when someone has you emotionally on the run.
3. All of us have weaknesses and insecurities that a clever manipulator might exploit. Sometimes, we're aware of these weaknesses and how someone might use them to take advantage of us. For example, I hear parents say things like: "Yeah, I know I have a big guilt button." – But at the time their manipulative child is busily pushing that button, they can easily forget what's really going on. Besides, sometimes we're unaware of our biggest vulnerabilities. Manipulators often know us better than we know ourselves. They know what buttons to push, when and how hard. Our lack of self-knowledge sets us up to be exploited.
4. What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we've been taught to believe about human nature. We've been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or "hung-up." So, while our gut tells us we're dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded "underneath." What's more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect. We're more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator's character.

 Recognizing the inherent aggression in manipulative behavior and becoming more aware of the slick, surreptitious ways that manipulative people prefer to aggress against us is extremely important. Not recognizing their subtly aggressive moves causes most people to misinterpret the behavior of manipulators and, therefore, fail to respond to them in an appropriate fashion. Recognizing when and how manipulators are fighting with covertly aggressive tactics is essential. Read more

Primary characteristic of the manipulator:

1. concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors.
2. knowing the vulnerabilities of the victim to determine what tactics are likely to be the most effective.
3. having a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim without remorse.

Basic ways that manipulators control their victims:

• Includes praise, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile;
• Use money, approval, gifts; attention, public recognition as a reward, public recognition as a reward,
• Create an effective climate of fear and doubt.
• Using the guilt trap and playing the victim.
• Using verbal abuse, explosive anger, or other intimidating behavior to establish dominance or superiority; even one incident of such behavior can condition or train victims to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the manipulator.

Eight Ways to Spot Emotional Manipulation:

1 There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator.
2. An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper.
3. Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.
4. Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers.
5. Emotional manipulators fight dirty.
6. If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor!
7. Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability.
8. Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them.

Psychological manipulation 

I found all these characteristics obvious Manipulator's behavior:

Lying: It is hard to tell if somebody is lying at the time they do it although often the truth may be apparent later when it is too late. One way to minimize the chances of being lied to is to understand that some personality types (particularly psychopaths) are experts at the art of lying and cheating, doing it frequently, and often in subtle ways.

Denial: Manipulator refuses to admit that he or she has done something wrong.

Rationalization: An excuse made by the manipulator for inappropriate behavior. Rationalization is closely related to spin.

Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that his or her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting, for example saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke.

Selective inattention or selective attention: Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from his or her agenda, saying things like "I don't want to hear it".

Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic. Or giving irrelevant, rambling, vague responses, weasel words.

Covert intimidation: Manipulator throwing the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats.

Guilt tripping: A special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position.

Shaming: Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.

Playing the victim role ("poor me"): Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.

Vilifying the victim: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator.

Playing the servant role: Cloaking a self-serving agenda in guise of a service to a more noble cause, for example saying he is acting in a certain way for "obedience" and "service" to God or a similar authority figure.

Seduction: Manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and give their trust and loyalty to him or her.

Projecting the blame (blaming others): Manipulator scapegoats in often subtle, hard to detect ways.

Feigning innocence: Manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or did not do something that they were accused of. Manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. This tactic makes the victim question his or her own judgment and possibly his own sanity.

Feigning confusion: Manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending he or she does not know what you are talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to his attention.

Brandishing anger: Manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock the victim into submission. The manipulator is not actually angry, he or she just puts on an act. He just wants what he wants and gets "angry" when denied.

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HUMANISM: The Biggest Ideological Evil Today

By Y.Marianov | Unification Family Therapy  HUMANISM: The Biggest Ideological Obstacle Today

Origins of Humanism
 
The most dangerous ideology today is Humanism. We live in age of Ideological War and the philosophy we have to combat and overcome is that of Humanism.

"Humanism is not only the biggest evil in the world, but it is also the most deceptive of all religious philosophies."

- Homar Dankan

Members often ask me, what exactly is 'Humanism'. Well, Divine Principle is very clear. Humanism it reverses all Subject-Object relationships; it expanded as a Cain-type ideology (product of our Physical Mind reversing dominion over our Spirit Mind). After Satan left Communism his power moved totally in the secular culture of Humanism and Relativism that destroyed morality and the foundation of the family in the last half a century. As Unificationists it is vitally important to reveal the true satanic nature of humanism and overcome it ideologically with the truth.

As Tim LaHaye wrote in his book, Battle for the mind, "Most of the evil in the world today can be traced to humanism, which took over governments, United Nations, education, television and other most influential fields in life." Humanism controls the society today by a network of organizations - humanistic associations, the education, trade unions, pro-sex programs, universities, porn magazines, even the hospitals and the textbooks of our children. But how much the aims of humanism are beneficial for humanity? It turns out that the values they promote are extremely destructive to the family and society, and especially dangerous for our young people.

What secular Humanism infiltrates in the minds of people

This becomes obvious when we check their main philosophical base expressed in the Humanist Manifesto:

1. Humanism rejects traditional moral values. Not only values are made relative, but anyone who mentions what's wrong is marked by them as evil and amoral.

2. Humanism denies obedience to any authority, including parental, or the authority of God.

3. Humanism promotes selfish-individualism - extreme individualism, as the highest good: It propagates that everyone can do what he wants to satisfy his momentary desires.

4. Humanism directly attacks marriage and the family as outdated, claims free sex as normal.

The culmination of the "humanist manifesto" is that the freedom of any kind of sexuality should be allowed: Including same sex relations, sex outside marriage, sex with many partners, or sex with small children and animals. At the same time Humanism's aim is that "the family" should be denied as an outdated and unnecessary unit.

This philosophy directly aims to liberate people from any moral standards and social responsibility. This brought the collapse of morality in less than half a century. But real understanding of it's satanic nature comes when we see how it promotes the four fallen natures philosophically.

Origin and Nature of Humanism

"Secular Humanism is an outgrowth of 18th century enlightenment rationalism and 19th... This insidious philosophy is at the heart and core of the cultural war", writes David Treybig, autor of "Secular Humanism: Dangerous Modern Philosophy With an Ancient Origin"

The origins of humanism are well explained in the Divine Principle: "The Cain-type... revival of Hellenism... gave birth to the humanism of the Renaissance. As this movement developed further, moving in Satan's direction, it gave birth to the Enlightenment, which... further matured in the satanic direction, giving birth to historical materialism, which is the core of communist ideology."

But what exactly is the nature of humanism and why is it so evil and destructive?

1. Humanism reverses all God's principles

From Principle viewpoint Humanism is the reversal of all God's principles. It sounds nice and has seemingly good aims for a better world, but it puts Object over Subject (Wife over Husband; Children before Parents; Students over Teachers); humanism is putting the external and horizontal over the internal and vertical. Because of that, automatically humanism destroys all vertical and horizontal order in the society. 

2.  Humanism is a product of the Physical Mind

Why humanists do that? Remember, Humanism is a product of the Physical Mind. Humanism, same like the Physical Mind, puts the individual purpose over the purpose of the whole.  Materialism, Individualism (the individual human interests), are set above Spirituality and God (the purpose of the whole). Thus, it violates all Principle laws; claiming that as good and attacking any attempt to restore the correct principle priorities.

(1) The Physical Mind cannot see God's viewpoint;
(2) The Physical Mind left it's position as object to the Spirit Mind;
(3) The Physical Mind reversed the dominion over the Spirit Mind;
(4) The Physical Mind multiplies evil, going against God's will constantly

Consequently, the four fallen natures originate from the physical mind. This is the reason why people do not need to study humanism to be humanistic. It comes automatically from ones fallen nature. Humanism, is only providing our Evil Nature with ideological excuse.

3. Humanism is an Ideological expression of the Four Fallen Natures

Humanism, is in fact, the Ideological expression of the Four Fallen Natures. Physical Mind can never see from God's view point, no matter how much it tries - only Spiritual Mind can do that. Thus people led by their Physical Mind naturally go against God's will even when they want to follow it. Physical Mind left it's position as an object to the Spiritual Mind and reversed dominion over it, which is the root of the Second and Third Fallen Natures; Leaving ones position and reversing dominion.

Internal war expressed as a cultural war

Since the Fall, Physical Mind constantly suppressed the Spirit Mind desires and rejects them as evil by multiplying evil thoughts and philosophy instead. This fierce cultural war is external projection of this inner unresolved struggle. Humanism developed as the philosophical expression of the external reasoning of numerous philosophers. Yet, being centered on their physical minds they ended up excusing the fallen natures and their own fallen desires, instead of bringing a true solution.

We can easily understand why even believers (members) who are lead by their Physical Mind will end up to be Humanistic; put External values over the Internal ones; aggressively reject spirituality though believing in the Principle. We should understand that this is only natural consequence of being led by the Physical Mind. So members should quickly develop their Spiritual Mind. Only then God can work through us. When Physical Mind is subject, Divine Principle says that we are channel for Evil spiritual world, no matter of our good motivation and desires.

A real ideological battle is carried out today for the minds of the youth

Most people have not even heard about the existence of a "humanist manifesto, and yet, young people are brainwashed with the propaganda of secular Humanism. They literally quote the above 4 points which humanism is based on.

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Humanists deny God and raise these materialistic, atheistic, immoral values of active promoters that the danger for the young today are interfaith, faith in God, faith in family, in true love, in moral values. They criticize other Christian denominations as sects threatening to deceive our children with moral values, while they themselves can without opposition pervert our children with immorality, individualism and free sex. They penetrate everywhere, even in our homes, in the schools, in the movies and the literature we read ...

We live in a really absurd society where good and evil are literally turned upside down.

Can we save our children from this godless, pervert ideology that is surrounding us from everywhere? I find in the Web statements such as: "Jehovah's Witnesses" is the most - dangerous sect in the world. Or, "It's interesting who will fight the most - dangerous sect - Orthodox. Sect, which is fully possessed by medieval thought and morality, and adheres to morals and principles."

This is the absurd - all the attention goes on the influence of dangerous cults. But how and to whom do they present danger? They endanger the immoral humanistic aims. Today, religions have little real impact in the lives of young people. They do not lead to immorality, in fact they teach us good moral values.

We Read meaningless threats of, "hordes of enemies - sects and Masons." At the same time, immorality is openly imposed everywhere. While "the devil turned believers to criticize each other," he undisturbed by anyone dominates our entire culture through secular Humanism and free sex.

Humanism, as rust, destroys families and corrodes us, our marriages and the morals of our children.

When will we open our eyes to reality? The most dangerous sect that actually destroys the foundations of faith is the sect of secular Humanism - relativism, which bombards us from everywhere and enters into our minds, our lives, our family and in the minds of our children.

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This is a godless religion - a cult of selfishness, immorality and free sex. It works secretly and invisibly, like Satan himself, while quickly and permanently corrupting our minds and lives. Representatives of one of the most - dangerous sects in the world, humanism, are all around us.

Humanists literally control television, media, art, fashion, school ... massively brainwashing our children. We are not free. Our children go to schools encountering violence, drugs, anti-moral propaganda ... Humanism is the most dangerous religion of today. It is a sect - an ideology that undisturbed propagates to our children its immoral cause. And the world is still blind to its satanic and destructive influence.

Y.Marianov | Unification Family Therapy

Note: The first Humanist Manifesto was written in 1933 and directly denies the moral values. The Second Humanist Manifesto criticizes this approach and calls for mass propagation of humanist values and immorality by any means; even through books about God and faith. Only in the 90's a book revealed the scale of the propaganda activities drawn by Hollywood productions. This happened after some of the founders themselves have begun to realize the negative result of its influence. This article reflects the views of the Unification movement of Dr. Moon. The main motive for the persecution and criticism towards him is because of the key role Rev. Moon played in the fight against the Communism (during the Cold War). 

LaHaye points that humanists take repeated positions from an "amoral" or even immoral standpoint while condemning any opposition as "narrow-minded" and "bigoted". In 1980, humanists numbered no more than 275,000 persons in the United States, but most were in positions of influence in the media, higher education, foundations, and government and could widely spread their secular views. 

The humanists are fully dedicated to the propagation of their views by any means, manipulation and deception. LaHaye noted the humanist background of Vice President Walter Mondale, a contributor to The Humanist magazine who attended the 5th Congress of the International Humanist and Ethical Union held in August 1970. Indeed Robert Lester Mondale (1904-2003), Walter Mondale's older half-brother, was the only person to sign each of the three Humanist Manifestos of 1933, 1973, and 2003. 

By 1980, humanists had gained control over many organizations such as the feminist National Organization for Women and the American Civil Liberties Union, all three television networks, both news and entertainment coverage, as well as dominance in the national and state governments, and universities and public education too. Gradually, even churches could not remain free of humanist design. Some Christian denominations were influenced by repeated movement to the left through the National Council of Churches. 

Humanists believe world population is too large and must be curtailed through abortion, euthanasia, and assisted suicide. They also reject the spiritual well-being of human beings, oppose prayer in the public sector, and advocate in many cases for widespread pornography, justification or even encouragement of adultery and homosexuality, and decriminalization of marijuana and other narcotics. 

The humanist (sometimes called "progressive liberal" or "socialist") and Christian views are irreconcilable. Humanists have the upper hand in the struggle against Christians, many of whom were unaware and uninformed about the moral chasm dividing the nation. Clergymen are hesitant to become involved in political matters for fear of dividing their congregations along partisan lines and risking a decline in financial donations. 

Humanists had gained even greater control over American society in the last years. The results of the 2016 elections with President Donald Trump could swing the pendulum into the more traditional Christian direction, but the verdict is still very much unknown. Humanists expect to rebound whenever they face setbacks and believe still that the majority of Americans are on board with their set of secular beliefs.. 

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