Wednesday, March 23, 2016

How gossiping affects the minds of the listeners

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Why is gossip bad

I never understood how dangerous gossip is until I studied psychology where I discovered that a word or two that we say can result in destroying the relationship of many people months later!!

Your mind tries to match what it receives from the external world with what it has in the internal data base. That’s why even if you notice the erros that are in this phrsae your mind will quickly try to find a match for them in its database so that it allows you to get the correct meaning. The same is true for hearing. How is that connected to gossiping?

How gossiping affects the minds of the listeners

If a guy never met “Sam” and you told him that “Sam” is a mean person then his mind will store in its database the fact that Sam is mean even if he was not sure of it.

As soon as your friends meets Sam his mind will try to match Sam’s behavior with its internal database which states that 'Sam is mean' and so the result will be interpreting any mistake that Sam makes as a sign for being mean.

Moreover, if Sam did anything good your friend’s mind will discard it because it doesn’t match its own database. Unless Sam does a considerable amount of effort to prove otherwise your friend will find hundreds of clues that supports the fact that he is mean.

Your friend will then start to treat Sam in a bad way which will force Sam to respond back with bad treatment too. Soon those two people will become enemies and they will start to hate each other. And guess what, all of this happened because of the small seed you planted when you told your friend that Sam is a mean person!!

Now what if sermon is full with repetitions that Mom is mean, selfish, worthless and even lesbian.. systematically desensitizing the voice of their conscience and heart.

Gossip and Mind Programming

Our minds get programmed by repetition. Even if your friend was on good terms with Sam, still repeating the fact that he is mean will result in programming your friend's mind to believe that Sam is really mean. (see Subconscious mind)

The effect of the programming will become 10 times more powerful if two people did the same thing, for example if you and a third friend told your other friend that Sam is mean then most probably he will believe you.

It's better to learn how this concept can be used in a positive way, helping others to have more love and understanding for a person. Mother often used that to help us understand Father. Even when TF was scolding us, Mother lovingly explained that we have to understand his determined heart and how urgent is God's providence. This way, Mother helped us to be united with Father.

If few of your friends tell your spouse that you are becoming more attractive he or she will soon believe them and find you really attractive.

In short, by gossiping about someone you are activating his fallen nature; modifying the listener’s internal world in such a way that he might find these bad things in the person you are talking about even if they were not there.

 The Fallen Nature results from the Physical Mind

Reverend Sun Myung Moon explains: "What is the first fallen nature? It is not taking the same viewpoint as God. The mind tries to take the same viewpoint as God, but what does not take the same viewpoint as God? The body. Can I get my body to feel what God likes and come to like it too? The body should not act just the way it wants to but should act as God wants. Until now this struggle has been going on. Without this, restoration would not occur."

If you take a look at the Heart Resonance chart, gossiping occurs only when we are in low resonance of heart. That's why the most powerful gossiping is that of sharing 'displeased emotions'. It looks innocent; one is simply sharing his broken heart with others. But the result is shocking; the listener's heart is now full with rage against the one who supposedly hurt you.

Guess how is this vicious habit learned? In the family! (See, Games People Play In The Family) Let us say, a mother shares her displeased feelings heartisticly to her child and now the child hates it's father because of that. Worse of all, this child will grow up being powerful manipulator, using such heartistic sharing to achieve things in live, constantly searching for this twisted type of love. Read, Gossip - The Poisonous Triangle of Mistrust

Speak only Words of Love

"My lips are meant to speak only words of love; they cannot speak unkind words. You should feel that your ears are no longer able to hear words that are not loving, and that your eyes cannot see anything that is not about love. If you live like that, in no time you will be intoxicated in the love of God. You will become a leading figure who, by communicating directly with the spirit world, will be able to solve skillfully and easily any problem." CBG, Sun Myung Moon

The only advice I have for you is to never gossip about someone. Please try to always see what God see in them. Please try to always stimulate the original nature in others. Because if goodness spreads because of what you planted, your reword will be eternal. But if evil spreads, like this video explains, you'll never be able to restore it and run away from the consequences.



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